You are not your hair!

When I was going through chemo, well-meaning people often said “don’t worry – your hair will grow back!”  It was meant to make me feel better, of course, and was an easy comment to make because it certainly seemed true and comforting, but the reality is that losing your hair can be very upsetting.  As women (and maybe men, too?), our hair is like another physical trait that is part of our identity.  I have very, very pale green eyes that look blue half the time.  If I woke up tomorrow and they were brown, I would be pretty rattled because of the major change.  Hair for women is also a sign of femininity.  You see a young woman with beautiful, healthy, thick hair and think of all of those things – youth, beauty, health!  When it goes away, you feel like you’ve lost something that identifies you as female rather than male.  Throw in a mastectomy or double mastectomy and you really start to feel less like a woman.  It is, to say the least, unnerving.

If you have lost your hair due to chemo, chances ARE quite high that your hair will return and that it will come back much the same as before, minus some months of awkward lengths.  Unfortunately, for me, that was not the case.  I distinctly remember my oncologist taking a look at me and frowning and saying quite bluntly (which I appreciated), “your hair should have started to come back by now.”  It is rare that it does not return and there are reasons for it and chemo drugs to blame, perhaps, but women lose their hair for other reasons as well and these are no less painful.  Maybe the exact cause of your hair loss or thinning is unclear.  That may feel even worse! 

The bottom line, though, is that we are each, individually, more than the hair on our heads.  We are SO much more.  We are sad when we lose it and we might feel a variety of emotions – frustration, embarrassment, annoyance – but we can find ways to cope and move forward.  I hope this website can help YOU in some way!